hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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