I'm drive I can fine osifer
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
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at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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