Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She's the barista slut.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
