i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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