i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize