I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
