i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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