oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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