i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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