How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i wish my penis had a tongue
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
