If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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