Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
