a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize