Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
