***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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