Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
