I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
