Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
