and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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