my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
worst night to have a conscience
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
