i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
