I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize