he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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