Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize