I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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