Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Randomize
