I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
