They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
