I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
