If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
