the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
