thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
