I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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