I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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