come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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