I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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