Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
