She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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