just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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