Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
