where am i from again
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
