Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize