You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
