God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
