Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
