I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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