last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The best revenge is premature balding
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
