tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
