He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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