belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
