Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
