she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
