Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
