is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
