how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
