Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
