you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
