dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
