Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
