I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize