he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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