just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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