how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
